being a true Christian

I lived in a village for a week. In some ways that was great, because I like people, and in other ways, that was a trial for me, since I do not hang around a lot of people too much. I like my healing work because it allows me to hang out with people in a very deep way and that is what I prefer. It was extremely educational to find out WHY I don't like to hang around people all the time. They are asleep!!!! It is very amazing. Finally a lot of things from my past are making sense. First, most humans are either not very intelligent and/or really bogged down with something heavy and thus don't ask questions - they just follow whatever is given to them, and second, most are truly asleep and do not even wish to up. They are happy being asleep. It is totally and exactly like the movie Matrix.

One advantage of living in a village was for me to see myself more clearly. My intent and desire is to connect with God.

I want God. I have never seen so clearly that. I am somehow different. I don't know what made it, for me to have that inherent desire AND to find real and true Sources of Wisdom AND to have a lifestyle that allows me to Search. I am very lucky. I have all the chances to actually reach God.

Am I using my chances is another question, to be answered during the next Vision Quest.

===========

Some people get sidetracked, like the Born Again Shit. He wants to be a Christian, but he is just a cheap fake imitation that has absolutely nothing to do with the real thing, doesn't even look like the real thing. It just has a label "christian" like someone would stick a label "gold" on a piece of dung. It is quite apparent that the two are completely unrelated.

It is amazing that he and many other "christians" cannot even detect that there is absolutely nothing in common between dung and gold. The dung doesn't look, smell, feel like gold WHATSOEVER. It is amazing that the dung doesn't smell repulsive to them, but they worship it as something valuable. Amazing!!!!! The only thing I can say is that such people are probably not very intelligent and thus never connect the dots, and also that they must have been severely damaged in childhood and cannot tell what is right and what is wrong, and will accept any lies in order to belong somewhere. The only good thing left in them is the desire to reach God, but that desire is there for wrong reasons: to be able to avoid "penalties" and to make sure to get into the privileged club called "paradise." There is no Love for God in any of that. There is just fear to save one's ass.

This wannabe "christian" is just Born Again Shit instead of a true practicing Christian. There is no way to become a Christian by following a dogma like Born Again hell. Born Again dogma takes you exactly in the opposite direction from Christianity. True Christianity is to be found somewhere else.

One has to have enough Something developed in them to actually find that 'somewhere else'. One has to have some integrity, some sense of justice and honor, some sense of kindness and Love, in order to find true teachings. Some sense of something Noble and Honorable, wishing to be in the Service of Great Mystery, and willing to stand up for it.

Seems like some people found it under the auspices of the organized "christian" religion, like St. Theresa of Avilla or Hildegard Van Bingen, etc, but - they are more of exception rather than norm, and also they themselves are often very critical of their church.

Buddhists seem a lot more "sane" than any other organized religion, because they have SPIRITUAL PRACTICE. Willy nilly, meditating changes a person. Christians have nothing but talking and that is very delusional.