negative pleasure

Sometimes I feel like an alien visiting Earth, because a lot that happens here is very strange to me. Of course I am just like anyone else, with all the negative emotions, being asleep, and so on, however somehow I am wired somewhat differently, I still Remember and try to Try, and that's the only reason I can be a healer :) A lot of effort is required to do Inner Work, to observe externally and internally.

So here I am, "freshly arrived to Earth" and noticing how life on Earth has a lot to do with suffering. It seems like any time things start moving towards being more conscious, there is something that will try to squish it and bring it back into the suffering state. No organizations love true creativity and self identity, because it means chaos in the "normal" sense of word. So, schools, families, churches, companies, etc. all try to keep enjoyment in check.

But then I realized that EACH human does it to themselves!!!! Everyone tries to complicate their life to the point where it gets all muddy and suffering. Amazing... Pleasure is a no-no. Clarity, simplicity, etc. are all *intentionally and actively* AVOIDED.
(Of course, it is easy to notice something like this when others do it. But how about me? I need to observe myself.)

Phoenicia Pathwork Lectures talk about "negative pleasure". Other spiritual teachings talk about it too. Basically, an unhealed human being takes pleasure in negativity. Gurdjieff calls it "enjoying touching the sore place in our mouth with our tongue."

Negativity is what we are used too... that's what we are trained in, by all the asleep adults that we grow up with. The bad habits just get passed on. Gurdjieff talks about that, and how for us to see ourselves and all our lies and negativity would make us stark mad => and only the process of self observation peels off all that, and it takes time...

Also, when we try to wake up our consciousness a little, all our old habits "wake up" too and try to bring us back into the negative state. Yogananda talks about that.

So what is the solution? Yogananda said:

"First, you need to understand the forces you have to contend with. Every action you perform - physically or mentally - leaves a trace on your mind. Yoga calls them samsaras - the habit-tendencies or predisposed moods created by the things you have already done, whether in this life or previous incarnation. Whenever you try to break out of the mold and accomplish something constructive or new, immediatelly your past wrong actions try to nullify your present good efforts. But if you keep on trying, and concentrating, that power of concentrated thought will obvert your past actions that are trying to keep you down."

The key is MEDITATION. That's concentration to connect with God. God is the only being that has the solution for our wholeness. Ask and ye shall receive.